The moments when I’ve been writing or reading in the early a.m. with ACDC blasting in my headphones have by far been of those memories and experiences that have had the most impact on me. The morning is enchanted because you are preparing for a day partly non existent and you feel no pressure for what you haven’t done or said or thought. You can listen to ACDC and carelessly write or read or drink coffee or have sex or go to the beach or workout or anything.
Another of the things that have impacted me in both an intellectual and somehow emotional sense. If I work hard for a couple hours and have nothing to listen to my ears begin to get hungry. I want to listen to something. I need to. This need has brought me to many different voices and conversations ranging a variety of subjects and experts of less or more expertise. But the most impactful of all my experiences as a listener has to be the speeches and eloquent monologues of great orators and intellectuals before a live audience. Speeches are what I’ve dreamed about. I like the writing process. It’s vital for me. I must. Yet the goal for me a writer is to get to through whatever means a stage or a pulpit or a podium with a speech crafted with my own soul and deliver it to the inquiring and aspiring minds and to those who “sit in darkness”.
The task seems impossibly slow but men like Malcolm Gladwell and Christopher Hitchens and Joshua Foer inspire me to no end. I can listen to them and enjoy an art that I can enjoy myself because I have done it before. Now is the time for me to place all my weight on the end of the seesaw leaning toward public writing. Intelligent journalism with skill and strategy and culture and historical flesh.
I’m looking at the top right corner of my macbook every so often keeping track of the rat race. I’ve got somewhere to be at o’seven-hundred and thirty hours. A place where my boss will be meeting me. Working a full time construction job may be the best and worst thing for me possible. At the moment it has been a strong factor in conditioning me to rising before the sun does and heading to work before it grazes the tops of the tree line. It has made me manage my time according to priority more than ever. But I still have a difficult time balancing good workouts with work and this and Maitlynn and family. I will get better.
Another task: I have to maintain a balanced diet. Paleo is my temporary dietary gospel. Thou shalt eat no bread or granulated sugar. Bananas are quickly becoming a comfort to me and apples are beginning to make me feel I don’t need a dentist but those sour gummy worms give me a call every once in a while just so I know they are still there. Waiting for me to crawl back. We’re done Trolli. Please don’t call me back. It’s harder for me than you realize but I won’t let you rule my life anymore. i’m saying no..
Hopefully my diet will help create a habit toward the end of the non-pregnant-man look when the times come for gravity to start laughing at me. Off to work now. It’s a good morning and a good day for a good world.